Archives: August, 2012

ell brown via flickr
ell brown via flickr

‘Merica was apparently attacked in the late summer of 2001. Evidently, the suspected attackers had brown skin and were Muslim. Logically, after learning of this piece of history, I declared that ‘Merica should be spying on and suspecting anyone in this glorious land that matched those parameters. After all, they probably want to do similar things to us – maybe even ME! That liberal rag, the Constitution, makes this difficult, but fuckin’ who cares – right? We gotta suspect them all. I have the same level of reasoning that the NYPD has, by the way.

But after 10 years, we’ve turned up nothing. Obviously we’re not spending enough money or spying hard enough. The NYPD, who has apparently extended its field of juridiction to… everywhere, has been unable to uncover a single fucking plot to destroy our freedom. Yet as a society, we’re continually taught to suspect and fear anyone even vaguely Muslim or Arab. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be that, as the Sikh community has learned several times over. It has provided the NYPD with a surplus of Urdu speakers, though.

This is a part of the reactionary strategy of the United States’ anti-terrorism campaign, and has nothing to do with actually ending terrorism against the citizens of this country. Those causes are not hard to decipher, they are just really inconvenient for the whole America-ruling-the-world thing we have going on. Eavesdropping on Lebanese coffee shop patrons will not make you safer, as evidenced by a complete and utter lack of any tangible result in its favor. It is there to lull you into a false sense of security while we continue to plunder the world.

Though it does sound like kind of a sweet job. Who wouldn’t want to get paid to sit in cafes, enjoying Lebanese food and drink, and eavesdrop on people’s silly conversations?

401(K) 2012 via flickr
401(K) 2012 via flickr

Oh hey there, did you know that big-bad millionaire Romney wont release his tax returns? I’ll bet you have, because it’s one of the only goddamn things I ever see anymore when I confront some source of election information (I get what I deserve, I know). I bet everyone knows that Mittens wont release his voluminous, Game-of-Thrones-length tax returns – and people are upset! It’s really something to get upset about, apparently! At least, that’s what I’m being told by whatever talking face is screaming at me on the television. Cuz like, what if there’s something… bad in there. Like, what if, maybe, it comes cout that Mittens is a multi-millionaire that employs a team of tax experts to exploit every single loophole in our disaster of a tax code to make sure that he pays as little (if anything at all!) as possible to the government? I mean, that would be like… mean, right? Fuckin’ right, that’s what he’s doing and if you’re surprised by that you’re a moron.
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